Boldness stirs the fear pot. Going against the grain takes guts. Rocking the boat...well...rocks the boat. And yes, that can all be uncomfortable. But aren't you already uncomfortable not speaking up and not going for what you really want in your life?

We don't have trouble feeling happy about someone else's happiness because we're terrible people. We have trouble feeling it when we want something like what they have for ourselves...

And we secretly fear we may never be able to have it.

Last weekend I got to visit the 9/11 Museum in New York. And about 15 steps into the building, huge wet tears started rolling down my face. I was hit with this visceral sadness of "Oh my God, this is humanity."

Acknowledging and accepting our emotions is very different than indulging or dwelling in them. The more fully and honestly you let yourself feel whatever you're feeling right now, the less you'll have to play clean-up down the road. There are no emotions you're not allowed to feel.

I thought there was something defective about me that I hadn't been able to figure out how to kick these maddening, self-defeating eating habits.Then one day this question crossed my mind and really hit my gut: "I wonder what I'm using food to distract myself from?"

Don't sweat the details at first. They'll clarify as you go. Start with just the ONE thing you know from deep in your being you want - and you see - in your ideal future day. Keep that one thing front and center in your vision; trust it and build on it.

Negative energy can be strong. But your positive, centered energy is even stronger.

You are not in your way. Only your judgments of yourself are.

Let the self-judgment go and you're free.

Sitting around focusing on my heart and repeating that I wish myself and others well, and expecting it to actually change anything? Please. I felt way too far gone for that. But its simplicity is precisely why the practice of loving-kindness is so brilliant. It's like a backdoor into self-love.

Once we acknowledge what's really up for us in this moment, we can appropriately address it and clear it through that awareness. We keep the channels clear by staying as honestly and objectively aware as possible of what our energy and emotions are up to in the present moment.

And what can feel tricky is that of course there are yoga poses and things and people in this life that really aren't the best fit for us. But when you stay plugged into your intuition about what really feels right for you, when you stay open enough to be willing to try out just this one little shift…you can have those breakthroughs. You don't need to wait for some gigantic shift in outer circumstances to break through your inner barriers.

Worry is a subconscious way of keeping ourselves comfortable - aka (emotionally) safe - aka small. But if you stay aware, you can use worry to your advantage. You can start to view it as a signal that you're about to step into some sweet, new, expansive territory.

In hindsight, it seems a little crazy that I couldn't see where all this was heading given all the synchronistic arrivals of one "just what I needed at the perfect moment" circumstance after another in those years.

But that's how it is. We're ready for what we're ready for when we're ready for it.

The more we resist, the more we suffer, and, without making a conscious choice to do things differently, the more we suffer, the more we'll resist. Eckhart Tolle puts it this way: "The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment." 

But when we stop taking our "small s self" so seriously, our "capital S Self” reminds us it's been there all along. And the (capital S) Self is constant. It's whole and centered and perfect and at ease, and its wholeness depends not one ounce on concepts or circumstances. It just is.

At first the details will likely seem fuzzy. No problem.

Pieces of your ideal day vision that at first might seem frivolous hold powerful information about what your soul is longing for.