Do You Want a Life of Comfort — Or a Life of Joy?

I used to dread tap dance recitals.

I wanted my Shuffle-Off-To-Buffalo to be as good as those other sequin-leotarded girls, but better? No thanks. You keep the attention, I'll just fade into the can-can line over here 'til this thing's over.

I made a preteen art of fading into the background.

I hugged the junior high gym walls even when that new Mariah Carey song came on, sat on my hands in class even though I totally knew where that battle was fought, and maniacally avoided eye contact with crushes.

It felt so uncomfortable to be seen that being invisible seemed less painful.

And as an adolescent, this makes sense. We're just figuring out who we are and how to express ourselves.

But what if we never outgrow that invisibility habit?

You have an amazing idea but remain mute in your staff meeting.

You catch the eye of a cute guy on the bus, but stymie his awkward attempt to ask if you take this route often by hiding under your headphones.

You got trained to teach yoga but are too terrified to get on the studio sub list.

We're still assuming it's less painful & safer to fly under the radar. But is it?

How comfortable is it to replay that meeting on an endless loop in your mind, beating yourself up for letting someone else take credit for your great idea?

How pleasant is it to wish you had a great boyfriend while you sit at home in your sweats watching Netflix wondering why you never meet any good guys?

How good do you feel about yourself when you know in your heart of hearts you're meant to start your own (insert passion-filled adjective here) business but you keep convincing yourself it makes more sense to suck it up and stay in the job you dread going to every morning?

Boldness stirs the fear pot. Going against the grain takes guts. Rocking the boat...well...rocks the boat.

And yes, that can all be uncomfortable.

But aren't you already uncomfortable not speaking up and not going for what you really want in your life?

Which is worse: Stagnating where you are because you fear the unknown over there could be more scary, or feeling resentful and frustrated every day because your choices aren't reflecting who you really want to be in your life?

So the question on the table for investigation is:

Is it actually more comfortable to stay in your comfort zone?

Happy, successful people are uncomfortable all the time. Going full-out for something we care a ton about but that isn't a sure thing threatens our ego big time.

But if you're already uncomfortable anyway, wouldn't you rather be uncomfortable doing something you'll be proud you tried, with the added bonus that it could turn out better than you could even have imagined?

Yes, change is uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean we have to hold ourselves back because of it.

Discomfort isn't a red light.

Growth is always going to involve some discomfort.

So your choices are: Stay "comfortable" right where you are (which is actually usually quite uncomfortable), or decide you're willing to be uncomfortable enough to step toward the life you truly want.

So here's a challenge to you for this week:

Do one thing each day that makes you uncomfortable — on purpose.

Make a pitch to be on that podcast you love. Tell that girl on the street you like her dress. Ask for that raise. Initiate that vulnerable but necessary conversation.

The more comfortable you get with being uncomfortable, the juicier your life will get. 

But don't trust me; see for yourself.

Here's to you making incremental upgrades from comfort to joy one intentional, aligned choice at a time.

Lots of Love,  

Melissa

PS – If you enjoyed this post, thank you for passing it along to someone who might get a boost from it.