Ongoing pandemic or not, we still have so much control over where we place our intention and our attention. What are you pointing yours toward as we move into this (symbolic but as meaningful as we decide it to be) fresh start of the new year?

This path of spiritual/personal growth is rife with paradox. Things that appear on the surface to be contradictory but upon deeper exploration reveal themselves as deep Truth (capital T).

What if the more you practice hanging with the discomfort of the I-don't-know-ness rather than trying to distract yourself from it or solve your way out of it, the more strength and trust that you can handle whatever life throws at you you'll start to own within yourself?

It takes deep courage to allow ourselves to be transformed despite the discomfort that's a necessary part of the process.

It takes courage to take committed action steps in the direction of the life we want to create day after day after day even when we're not sure if "it's working" yet.

The reason apparent opposites come up when we focus on healthier ways of being is because we have to clear out whatever's taking up the space the thing we want to welcome in will inhabit.

The old less healthy habits are in the way.

So the unpleasant stuff has to come up in order to create space for the pleasant stuff to come in.

Keeping an open heart in this world isn't for the faint of heart.

Staying as open as possible while simultaneously protecting our energy and soft spots when appropriate. Riding out the open and closed phases of the heart.

And the reality is, the heart does open and close. Rhythmically. Naturally.

Our work is to let ourselves feel life in its insanely wide spectrum as best we're able.

The truth is, beating yourself up all day isn’t actually making you more productive.

The habit of beating yourself up as an attempt at motivation is actually likely damming your flow up way more than you realize.

Two antidotes to suffering:

1) Keep your eyes on your own paper (or yoga mat). 2) Let yourself let go of things you can't control.

Appropriate guilt is a useful call to action. It's a flare going off to call your attention to an area where you might want to alter your behavior to get back on track toward being the kind of person you want to be and living more in alignment with your values.

Yes, long-held beliefs have layers. But if you chip away steadily and with heart-centered intention, you'll get to their core, and you'll uncover what's actually always been true: That you are 100% whole. That there is nothing you need "out there" that you don't already have "in here." That you are fully capable of giving and receiving love. And that you are worthy of love. Right. Now.

We don't have trouble feeling happy about someone else's happiness because we're terrible people. We have trouble feeling it when we want something like what they have for ourselves...

And we secretly fear we may never be able to have it.

In 2009 when I moved from San Diego back "home" to the Bay Area I was sad. In more grief than I'd ever known I could be, in fact. The move took place after the first man I'd ever really opened up to loving and being loved by died in a car accident. And I had no clue what I was going to do next. All I knew was that just "being" was the only right thing in that moment.

In hindsight, it seems a little crazy that I couldn't see where all this was heading given all the synchronistic arrivals of one "just what I needed at the perfect moment" circumstance after another in those years.

But that's how it is. We're ready for what we're ready for when we're ready for it.

The more we resist, the more we suffer, and, without making a conscious choice to do things differently, the more we suffer, the more we'll resist. Eckhart Tolle puts it this way: "The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment." 

But when we stop taking our "small s self" so seriously, our "capital S Self” reminds us it's been there all along. And the (capital S) Self is constant. It's whole and centered and perfect and at ease, and its wholeness depends not one ounce on concepts or circumstances. It just is.

Our tendency is generally to try to "fix" our way back into balance once we realize we've fallen out (and we of course have to be fortunate/willing enough to have the awareness to notice that we've wandered from center ground to even do that). But balance is actually our natural resting place.

The ability of a consistent mindfulness practice to enhance our physical and emotional wellbeing, among a long list of other benefits, is truly profound. And ultimately most profound in its ability to open us up to the reality of how inextricably interconnected all beings are, and the love and compassion that gets uncorked with that clear seeing.