You are not in your way. Only your judgments of yourself are.

Let the self-judgment go and you're free.

Sitting around focusing on my heart and repeating that I wish myself and others well, and expecting it to actually change anything? Please. I felt way too far gone for that. But its simplicity is precisely why the practice of loving-kindness is so brilliant. It's like a backdoor into self-love.

Making major life changes can feel scary and complicated. But I see (and know from personal experience) how the simplest practices, repeated with intention and attention, can make the most profound positive shifts in life.

Once we acknowledge what's really up for us in this moment, we can appropriately address it and clear it through that awareness. We keep the channels clear by staying as honestly and objectively aware as possible of what our energy and emotions are up to in the present moment.

In 2009 when I moved from San Diego back "home" to the Bay Area I was sad. In more grief than I'd ever known I could be, in fact. The move took place after the first man I'd ever really opened up to loving and being loved by died in a car accident. And I had no clue what I was going to do next. All I knew was that just "being" was the only right thing in that moment.

And what can feel tricky is that of course there are yoga poses and things and people in this life that really aren't the best fit for us. But when you stay plugged into your intuition about what really feels right for you, when you stay open enough to be willing to try out just this one little shift…you can have those breakthroughs. You don't need to wait for some gigantic shift in outer circumstances to break through your inner barriers.

Worry is a subconscious way of keeping ourselves comfortable - aka (emotionally) safe - aka small. But if you stay aware, you can use worry to your advantage. You can start to view it as a signal that you're about to step into some sweet, new, expansive territory.

But there's an alternative to this stress-inducing, actually counter-productive type of "time management": To tune into your inner energy in a given moment and let it guide you in the most appropriate-for-this-moment action to take next.

In hindsight, it seems a little crazy that I couldn't see where all this was heading given all the synchronistic arrivals of one "just what I needed at the perfect moment" circumstance after another in those years.

But that's how it is. We're ready for what we're ready for when we're ready for it.

The more we resist, the more we suffer, and, without making a conscious choice to do things differently, the more we suffer, the more we'll resist. Eckhart Tolle puts it this way: "The intensity of the pain depends on the degree of resistance to the present moment." 

But when we stop taking our "small s self" so seriously, our "capital S Self” reminds us it's been there all along. And the (capital S) Self is constant. It's whole and centered and perfect and at ease, and its wholeness depends not one ounce on concepts or circumstances. It just is.

Our tendency is generally to try to "fix" our way back into balance once we realize we've fallen out (and we of course have to be fortunate/willing enough to have the awareness to notice that we've wandered from center ground to even do that). But balance is actually our natural resting place.

With too little awareness and intention, we stay stuck in the same place. With too much force, we bulldoze right past the present moment. But when you hit it just right, you get to hang in that ease-y space, where it feels like you're being magically supported. You know when you've hit that sweet spot because the effort suddenly doesn't feel like work.

At first the details will likely seem fuzzy. No problem.

Pieces of your ideal day vision that at first might seem frivolous hold powerful information about what your soul is longing for.

The ability of a consistent mindfulness practice to enhance our physical and emotional wellbeing, among a long list of other benefits, is truly profound. And ultimately most profound in its ability to open us up to the reality of how inextricably interconnected all beings are, and the love and compassion that gets uncorked with that clear seeing.