Want More Joy & Clarity? Get Still
In 2009 when I moved from San Diego back "home" to the Bay Area I was sad.
In more grief than I'd ever known I could be, in fact. The move took place after the first man I'd ever really opened up to loving and being loved by died in a car accident.
I let the yoga classes I'd loved teaching in San Diego go, with great bittersweetness, and decided to take some time off to just be and see what wanted to come next.
I visited wonderful, supportive friends and family around the country. I took a Peace Corps application through to the point of really envisioning a life in rural Africa for the next few years.
I did a month-long silent meditation retreat.
And I had no clue what I was going to do next. All I knew was that just "being" was the only right thing in that moment.
Then somewhere along the way, I had the sense that it was time to look into coaching certification programs.
Those seeds had been planted years before while I worked in the life coaching department of the Tony Robbins Company and was doing some nutrition coaching in San Diego.
But I only truly noticed that gut sense of, "Seriously, it's really time to check this out" within the stillness of non-doing.
I didn't think my way into that next step.
I just created the conditions of space and quiet that made it easier to hear and feel what wanted to emerge.
Our heads are noisy places. It's said that we have 80,000+ thoughts a day, and that 90% of those are repeats.
In the shower yesterday I was thinking how nice it was to just be present and enjoy the quiet and the warm water washing over me. Then I heard something yell, "You should put shampoo on your list." I went back to enjoying being with the water until the presence was interrupted again by, "Don't forget to put that shampoo on the list, ok?"
Back to enjoying the moment, then again, "Seriously, you're almost out of shampoo." More warm water, and then, "Also toothpaste. You could really use some more toothpaste ..."
You know how this goes.
When we're really paying attention to what our minds are focusing on, we can see how repetitive and unproductive the vast majority of our thoughts are.
We just don't need them all. In fact, there are very few that end up proving useful for us to take action on.
And if we're paying enough attention to catch them the first time, we can capture what we need from those thoughts, download them in some useful form (put that thing on your list, talk to that person, take action on that task), and never have to hear from them again.
Thoughts are like little kids looking for attention. They'll tug on your skirt until you kneel down, look them in the eye, and acknowledge the need.
Once the need has genuinely been heard, the requestor moves on to something else.
Without the stillness of less doing in that phase of my life, I might not have heard or followed the call onto the coaching path, which made me happier and more at peace than I'd ever been.
Regular quiet and stillness help us hear what really needs to be heard and let go of what's not helpful.
Space has to exist in order for insights to enter into it.
If we're constantly distracted by the next thing on our to-do list or exhausting ourselves chasing the tail of yet another recycled worry or fear thought, there's no room for clarity.
Intuition perks up in stillness.
Decisions become effortless when we let them breathe and pay attention to the feedback we're receiving.
So what thoughts are tugging at you right now?
Is your current life feeling like it has enough spaciousness and stillness structured into it to let you hear what's truly calling to you?
If not, what's one small step you'd like to take this week to create a little more room?
Acknowledging the nagging thoughts doesn't mean you have to indulge them. You can honestly notice what's going on in that mind of yours and then, from an authentic and intuitive place, decide whether to follow the thought toward some action or to let it go.
And from that place of conscious choice, genuine joy and flow follow naturally.
But don't just trust me. Invite a little extra stillness into your days this week and see for yourself.
Lots of Love,