Thank You 2020
Well, 2020...
What is there to say, beyond, What a doozie?
How many different cycles, internal and external, have we each been through during this roller coaster ride of a year?
Normally around this time of year I'd be easing into some reflections on the past year and intentions for the new year, but as the end of this anything but "normal" year crept up, I've been sensing into what feels right for this year.
A year which has called forth our deepest capacities to stay flexible and adapt our usual practices to meet this moment with as much wisdom-guided skill, grace, and presence as possible.
It might feel tempting in this realm of personal / spiritual growth to skim over the heavy stuff and head straight for the reframe of what you're grateful to this year for. And turning our lens toward gratitude most definitely is incredibly powerful.
But before turning toward "the good," you might create some space for yourself to really feel into that heaviness.
To look the losses you've experienced — whether of something or someone tangible, or having experienced an inner sense of loss — right in the eye. To lean into whatever grief might be present with the intention of allowing it the kind of warm acknowledgement it needs to move through however it needs to move through.
We tend to be biased toward action, particularly when tender or scary feelings are simmering beneath the surface. And goodness knows most of us have had a lot of those feelings bubble up this year.
So below are some reflection prompts and self-space-holding invitations to slow down, drop in, and make the transition from 2020 to 2021 as conscious and clear-channelled as possible.
(As always, lean into what resonates with you and feel free to leave the rest.)
What emotions are you sensing are calling for some kind, gentle attention within you right now?
Maybe the ones you've been trying to dance your way around for months, but that keep tugging at your attention nonetheless.
How might you create some quiet time and space — and whatever external support you sense you may need in the form of a trusted friend, therapist or coach — for yourself to lean into those tougher feelings, to allow them to be non-judgmentally acknowledged so they can move through you however they want to move through you?
What, if anything, have you not yet let yourself fully feel the weight of loss around from this year?
Can you grant yourself some space and grace to (again, with outside support or witnessing as feels supportive) name, allow, and feel that loss in your body, without trying to rush or fix anything related to it? To just allow the energy to do its dance and move however it needs to move. (This guided meditation offers some structure for this exploration.)
What do you choose to forgive yourself for from this year?
Moments of stress-driven reactivity, some less than smooth, masked, out-of-practice social interaction, not having as much time or bandwidth as you wanted to contribute to something or someone?
Name it. Write it down. Say it out loud. Verbalize an apology to the other party if that feels appropriate/useful. And then let it go to the extent you're able to in this moment, knowing that forgiveness is an ongoing intentional practice, not a one-and-done action.
And once you've allowed some space for and clearing of whatever wants to be acknowledged and felt from the whole wide, wild range of inner experiences you've experienced this year...
In addition to what you've missed or lost, what have you gained from this year?
What have been the sweetest (and maybe most unexpected) blessings of 2020 in your life?
(Personally, getting to witness the deepening roots and unfurling petals of my partner's relationship with our almost two-year-old daughter as we've been nurturing our nest here together 24-7 for the past nine months has been an incredible unforeseen gift (among a long list of others).)
In what ways have your values shifted or clarified through your experience of this year?
Did some part of you enjoy slowing down your pace? What relationships are you clearer on the importance of? What have you let go of this year that you aren't feeling called to bring back into your life even when you technically can?
What new sense of connection have you noticed in your relationships through this year?
How has your bandwidth expanded in some ways this year (even while it may have felt like it decreased in others)?
In what ways have you surprised yourself with just how resilient, adaptable, and flexible you've been able to be this year?
In what ways have you found yourself stepping up to new levels of active engagement (perhaps initially incredibly uncomfortably) in contributing to social justice or a more equitable society this year?
Where have you discovered that you’re braver, stronger, or more capable than you might have imagined yourself to be on this front?
In what ways have you shown up with greater grace, compassion, or generosity than you might have imagined yourself capable of this year?
What do you intend to consciously carry forward from the lessons of 2020?
What do you want to consciously choose to leave behind from this year (that is within your control)?
Who do you want to be and how do you want to show up in 2021?
Jot down all the traits that come to mind in as much vivid detail as possible.
Who have you been grateful for this year?
Personally known or strangers: Doctors, nurses, scientists, teachers, Black Lives Matter protestors, a supportive partner who's weathered the waves with you, all those who rallied to get out the vote, firefighters, organizations and organizers on the frontlines of creating a more just and equitable society, local government officials who've set policies to help keep you safe, mail carriers, delivery drivers, garbage collectors, cashiers at your local market, technology that's let you stay connected from afar, a virtual yoga or meditation teacher, neighbors you've gotten to know better, farmers who've continued to grow your food and the workers who've continued to harvest it and get it to your plate, strangers in your community who've worn masks to help you stay safe...?
Ongoing pandemic or not, we still have so much control over where we place our intention and our attention. What are you pointing yours toward as we move into this (symbolic but as meaningful as we decide it to be) fresh start of the new year?
Wishing you and your loved ones a safe, healthy, and joyful holiday season and start to the new year. And for any in this community who have lost someone, to Covid or otherwise, this year, sending some extra love and well-wishes your way.
Congratulations. You made it through this crazy year. Carry whatever strength and sweetness you've discovered this year with you into 2021.
And may we all tap into a deep inner resilience, wisdom, and compassion that allows us to help make 2021 a year of greater health, safety, equity, and happiness for all beings.
Lots of Love,
Melissa
PS - This The Year in Good News episode of The Daily podcast might pair perfectly with the gratitude portion of your year-end reflection process.