We’ll See (A perspective for grounding and equanimity in wild times)
My daughter woke up at 2AM last night needing something and I wasn't able to fall back to sleep afterward. In moments like these my mind used to go straight down the “Aagghhh, my day will be wrecked” rabbit hole.
But having witnessed firsthand time and again just how terrible these human brains of ours actually are at accurately predicting how we'll feel in the future – much less what will happen in the future – I intentionally no longer bite the mind's negatively biased “hook” in moments like these.
And as it turns out, I've been coasting through a quite delightful day despite the short sleep.
I've found this related Chinese parable (which has reverberated in me ever since hearing it on a meditation retreat almost 20 years ago) coming to mind amidst the collective moment we're all in together right now:
“A farmer and his son had a beloved stallion who helped the family earn a living. One day, the horse ran away and their neighbors exclaimed, 'Your horse ran away, what terrible luck!' The farmer replied, 'Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see.'
A few days later, the horse returned home, leading a few wild mares back to the farm as well. The neighbors shouted out, 'Your horse has returned, and brought several horses home with him. What great luck!' The farmer replied, 'Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see.'
Later that week, the farmer's son was trying to break one of the mares and she threw him to the ground, breaking his leg. The villagers cried, 'Your son broke his leg, what terrible luck!' The farmer replied, 'Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see.'
A few weeks later, soldiers from the national army marched through town, recruiting all the able-bodied boys for the army. They did not take the farmer's son, still recovering from his injury. Friends shouted, 'Your boy is spared, what tremendous luck!' To which the farmer replied, 'Maybe so, maybe not. We'll see.'"
It's lovely to celebrate and savor wins when we experience them in life, and of course feelings of disappointment, grief or fear are normal and valid with the losses.
But the truth is we really can never know in the moment what ripple effects something happening right now – personally or collectively – will have into the future. Something that appears on the surface like bad luck right now could prove to be the biggest blessing as our path unfolds.
This doesn't mean we stick our heads in the sand or try to “spiritually bypass” our way around what our authentic experience is in a given moment. But rather to say, do you notice maybe a little greater sense of spaciousness – of peaceful equanimity – in your being with even the possibility that the light and shadow sides of things are interwoven, not separate?
So if the world is feeling particularly scary or chaotic to you right now and you're feeling quite individually helpless to initiate positive change, you might try on this “we'll see” perspective.
And yes, of course we want to be planting the kindest, most conscious, most loving, compassionate seeds possible and standing up with a strong spine from an integrity-grounded place as much as possible through our thoughts, words and actions right now.
But things in the world at large are (like it or not – for these control-loving egos of ours, entirely not) mostly out of our control nonetheless.
So we take positive control and direct positive intention where we can in our lives. We can plant and water the seeds in our own little gardens with attentiveness, care, curiosity, kindness, and the intention that the blossoms that bloom may serve the greatest collective good.
So how are things going for you – and for us all – these days? We'll see :)
And if you're looking for some support in these wild times, my integrative style of coaching is a wonderfully grounding, resilience-nurturing, possibility-enhancing resource. You can check out my 1:1 offerings here.
With Love,