Ever Wish Someone Would Just Tell You What to Do? (The Paradox of Freedom)
A client let out a self-aware laugh during a recent coaching session as it dawned on her that the universe appeared to be granting her what she'd been longing for for so long: A next level of freedom in her life.
A moment of insight settled in as she realized aloud, “Oh, wait a second. I guess what I'm experiencing right now kind of is the freedom I've been wanting…?!”
The only thing was, the way freedom was showing up wasn't the way she'd imagined it manifesting, and was actually feeling incredibly challenging.
And she's not alone. Three of my coaching clients have been circling this same theme:
The paradox of freedom.
Paradoxical because while there's a part of us humans that deeply, truly craves freedom and autonomy in this life, there are other parts of us that would give anything in the world to just have someone tell us what to do!! :)
This is something my clients have been playfully exploring in our recent sessions. Maybe you can relate?
With freedom comes self-responsibility.
And taking full — not conveniently selective — responsibility for our own life choices can feel…to put it euphemistically…HARD.
It can feel easier in some ways to outsource our decisions to external sources. Because then if things don't go the way we hope they'll go, it a) may feel less disappointing than if we'd taken full ownership of the choice going in and b) we can blame something outside rather than inside ourselves.
But when you look more closely, is it actually easier to outsource the choices you make in this life?
I would argue that it doesn't feel easier to become so disconnected from your sense of center and self-trust that you start to find it almost impossible to make any of the bigger decisions in your life fully for yourself.
It doesn't feel easier to become silently resentful and feel powerless as others around you bulldoze over your opinions, needs and boundaries.
It doesn't feel easier to become so cut off from your intuitive sense of what feels right to you from the inside out that you're hardly able to locate what you need or want within yourself – much less feel confident enough to express those desires outwardly.
It doesn't feel easier to feel out of control of your own life.
I would argue that it's ultimately easier – and vastly more energy efficient in the long run – to lean into the act of purposeful, alchemical, soul-aligned transformation right here, right now than to wait another day, week, month, year…or lifetime.
And yes, it takes bravery, commitment and trust to delve into this level of self-exploration. So if you're feeling tugged toward deepening into this type of self-awareness and self-trust in an intimately supported way, I would love to chat with you about 1:1 coaching possibilities.
Lots of Love,