Preschool-Style Basics of Being Human
I don’t know about you, but it seems like a major portion of the people in my community are currently going through some form of extremely tough time. Lots of illness, loss, and unexpected curveballs swirling for lots of people.
So life feels tough enough as it is when those stressful, scary, or grief-ridden phases come upon us.
But if just about everyone around us seems to be struggling in their own isolated-feeling ways at the same time…
How do we show up for one another in the loving, supportive ways we're craving for people to also show up for us when so many of us are struggling at the same time?
How does anyone get their emotional needs met when everyone’s bandwidth seems to be shrunken down in the same moment?
I think we can start by going back to the Golden Rule — aka the preschool-style basics of being human.
We can be gentle with one another and ourselves.
We can use (as my daughter's preschool encourages) kind words with ourselves and one another.
We can remind ourselves that we’re not the only ones struggling.
We can intentionally connect with people who feel nourishing to us.
We can consciously choose to be a bit kinder than usual to the people in our life — keeping the reminder back of mind that they may be having just as hard a time as we are right now.
We can ask for the support we need from people we feel good and safe with.
We can tap into resources and practices that help us feel good, comforted, supported, and safe.
We can set ourselves up to get our optimal amount of rest whenever possible (and extend ourselves some grace when it’s not possible).
We can extend well-wishes to ourselves when we're struggling, just like we would to those we care about.
We can check in regularly with what we're needing and intend to meet those needs in small ways wherever possible.
And we can right-size our expectations of our capacity based on our current circumstances.
Because the reality is, we just don't have the same capacity for thinking clearly, empathizing with or giving to others as generously, or nourishing ourselves as deeply during our most challenging life circumstances.
Focusing in realistic ways on what self-care and grounding practices do feel realistic in tough moments and then gently encouraging ourselves to follow through on those reasonable, bite-sized, well-being-nourishing actions is a reasonable place where we can focus and bring back some useful, intentional control.
And maybe above all else, we can extend ourselves and one another some extra grace during our most challenging moments.
Because we're all always doing the best we can given our inner and outer circumstances in the moment.
And here are a few resources to support your navigation through a hard moment:
You can listen to this Being With Challenging Emotions meditation I've made for you.
Or this short and sweet Self-Compassion meditation.
This piece I wrote awhile back, 20 Ways to Stay Open When It All Just Feels Like Too Much, offers some additional ideas for self-support during tough times.
This Meeting the Moment However We Can post too.
And one resource I've found lovely and wise on this theme recently is Anderson Cooper's new podcast All There Is.
Please know I'll be sending well-wishes your way through any tough moment you're in right now. I encourage you to do the same for yourself.
Lots of Love,