Maybe It Doesn't All Have to Happen *Right* Now

One concept I'm finding myself called to drop into the pool of exploration in coaching sessions a lot recently is:

Urgency is the voice of fear.

My coaching clients are smart, self-aware women who, once they clear out the Self-limiting beliefs and flow-damming perfectionism from their inner space, are powerful healers and creators in the world.

Through the coaching and mindfulness processes of cultivating the capacity to slow down, tune in, and follow their intuitive and heart- and soul-aligned callings, these women start to free up (a ton of) energy that used to be bound up in fear, future-worrying, past-regretting, and self-criticizing.

And suddenly they see whole new worlds of possibility opening up.

(Those worlds of opportunity are of course always there, we just can't notice them until our awareness becomes fine-tuned enough to see them clearly.)

On the one hand, this new opening feels incredibly empowering. This, "Holy wow, I can create anything I want now?!!" is energizing and exciting.

But on the flip side, we sometimes get so excited about what we want to create for the future that we can get swept up in a sense of urgency. A sense that it all has to get done right now.

And while that "Strike while the iron's hot" energy can serve us in profound ways to make things happen...

The sense of urgency can also be a sneaky manifestation of fear.

The anxiety about having to say yes to everything right this second stems from a scarcity mindset.

The subtext is: "If I don't say yes to all these opportunities and get everything done right now, I may never have the chance again." (Aka FOMO.)

And you might be thinking, "But that really might be true. All this opportunity could dry up." It makes sense from this perspective that we would feel the need to rush to try to make everything happen at once.

But what happens when you try to create from this place of desperate urgency?

Imagine the long-term ripple effect of building your new dream home's foundation as quickly and cheaply as possible. Yes, you may get that house up faster, but down the road, it will be much more easily shaken or blown off center, costing you far more in the long run.

Now I'd like to invite you to take a few deep breaths and drop into a sense of how it would feel to create what you want in your life — the thriving business, the loving relationship, the meaningful contribution, the strong body, the peaceful mind — from a grounded place of faith and inner knowing.

From an intuitive place in the center of your being that trusts life and allows things to unfold in the perfectly organic way and pace, with no forcing or rushing required.

What feels different in this version of your vision?

We can't tap into our most essentially creative power or the flow of abundance when we're rushing forward.

Our fullest power and potential are only available when we're firmly grounded in this present moment. 

And if we try to rush past the foundation-laying phase of our unfolding process, our "house" will always stand on shaky ground.

So while it's tempting to skim over the steady, disciplined work required in the foundation-laying phase, it's a must in order to create the sustainable, authentically grounded form of what we want.

If you'd like to play with shifting from rushed and urgent to grounded and solid energy:

Slow down.

Take a breath.

And feel into the inquiry:

"What is the most vulnerable part of me fearing might happen if I don't tackle this all at once?"

If urgency is a masked form of fear, then investigating what's beneath the mask takes fear's power away (think Wizard of Oz curtain reveal).

Calling out fear for what it is is the most powerful - and the first - step in dialing back its control over you.

So the next time you find yourself swept up in urgency overwhelm and planning 99 steps down the road, you might:

  • Pause.

  • Take a breath.

  • And take a compassionate (aka nonjudgmental) look at what's behind the fear curtain.

Once you see with clear eyes what's at the root of that frenetic energy, you'll be more effortlessly drawn toward whatever actions are most wise, useful, and appropriate for you in this moment.

And thankfully, all we're ever actually tasked with is addressing this one moment with care.

Lots of Love,

Melissa

Previous
Previous

Hanging in the Hammock Between "Over" & "Next"

Next
Next

How to Turn Pointless Suffering Into Purposeful Suffering