Detaching From Outcome: 8 Reasons Why & 3 Tips How

Even being the smart and generally logical person you are, you've probably tried some of the manifesting "secrets" floating out there in woo-woo circles by now as they become more and more mainstream:

Get crystal clear on what you want. (Think vision boards.)

Focus wholeheartedly on that vision in every moment possible.

Believe it's possible with every cell of your being. (Maybe you've been mantra-ing your little heart out.)

Take committed action toward what you want every day.

Then detach from the outcome and let whatever happens happen.

Maybe you were on board until that last part.

Detach from outcome.

If you're into personal development or spiritual "work" (and since you're reading this post, you likely are), you've probably heard this before.

Maybe you've been nodding along as your coach, yoga teacher, therapist, or spiritual buddy extolls the virtues of peeling back layers of attachment.

But have you ever secretly wondered what the heck "detaching from outcome" actually means — or why you'd want to?

With all the Do more! You're not enough yet! messages you likely here shouting in your head all day long telling you if you want to be successful you have to be the go-getter and Attack! your goals, it might feel counterintuitive (not to mention extremely uncomfortable) to loosen your grip.

Maybe you fear (like I used to) that if you detach from fixating on the exact outcome you want, you'll never be able to get anything you want.

Maybe you believe, like so many of us are conditioned to, that you have to fight for what you want. Doggedly pursue your dreams. Claw your way to the top.

And yes. You most definitely need to get clear on what you want and take action to set the universal wheels of grace and synchronicity in motion in order to manifest what you really want.

You have to meet the universe halfway, for sure.

But if you cling too tightly to what you want, you'll suffocate it.

Your dreams need air and space to come to life.

So you can revise your vision boards and repeat your mantras 'til the cows come home, but if you're not taking this last step to heart, you're likely gonna keep bonking with manifesting what you most want.

But if you're still not convinced that detaching from outcome will support rather than stifle your desires, here are a few reasons you might consider loosening your grip.

Attaching sets you up for disappointment.

Remember when you were seven and had your heart set on that one special Cabbage Patch doll, but when you got to the tree on Christmas morning a different one was there?  You probably had trouble appreciating how great the one that was actually there was. Attaching to one thing closes you off to all the other gifts that show up under your tree.

Sweating every detail dams the flow.

If you're too busy fixating on how you can get exactly what you want down to the most minute detail by exactly the date you want it by in exactly the package you demand it arrive in, you're choking off life's flow. What wants to come in can't come in if you're taking up all the space with worry and control.

Maybe the universe has something even better in store for you.

If you get too rigid with exactly how what you want has to show up for you (He must be 6'2" or taller with dusty dark blonde hair, a water polo player's torso, and Wes Anderson style wit...), you might have your blinders on to something even more awesome right before your eyes.

You can't see the big picture if you've got tunnel vision.

If you're overly fixated on the minute details of how your dream "has to" manifest, you'll lose perspective. You might miss how you actually needed that last difficult coaching client (or whatever recent challenge in your life) in order to teach you what you needed to learn to be ready for the perfect opportunity right around the corner.

Rigid is the enemy of open.

If you're spending all your time and energy hovering over every detail of how what you want will come to fruition, you're closed and contracted. And in order to welcome abundance, you need to be open and relaxed.

The seeds you're planting need space to take root and time to grow.

Flowers don't blossom because you hover over them. They blossom because you prime the conditions from them to thrive, commit to tending to them caringly and consistently, and then back off and let nature do its thing.

All forcing means no receiving.

If you're pushing out toward what you want 100% of the time, that means there's 0% space to receive. And all that abundance you're wanting needs some open space to land in.

Trusting that life always has your back lets you relax.

And abundance loves a relaxed and receptive landing pad. If you let yourself enjoy the process and trust that the perfect breadcrumbs are always laying themselves out for you, you'll get to enjoy the journey and be more ready to receive what you want when it's ready to come to you.

So now that you're more bought-in on why you might want to detach from outcome, how do you actually do it?

Set your goals and intentions, but allow room for what you want to arrive in all kinds of unexpected packages.

Keep your mind and eyes open to the infinite forms in which what you want might want to come to you, maybe in an even more awesome way than you'd hoped.

Don't sweat the details.

How what you want manifests isn't your business.

Your job is to focus on what you want and why your heart truly wants it. Leave the details up to the universe.

Choose to trust that life is always supporting you and to believe that there’s always enough to go around.

Take action toward what you want, and then relax. Step forward, then let things marinate and integrate, then step forward again.

Do your part, then step out of the way and see what goodness life has in store for you once your ego is in the backseat instead of the driver's seat.

Lots of Love,  

Melissa

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