Four Words That Can Change Your Life in a Heartbeat
As I rolled my sweaty, cranky body back and forth on the cement floor with howler monkeys squawking a soundtrack in the background, my yoga teacher training instructor, the wonderful Don Stapleton, seemed to be enjoying himself.
He knew he was pushing us that afternoon. We were a few weeks into a 4-week immersion training at the Nosara Yoga Institute in Costa Rica in 2006, and he was leading us through a mindful movement exercise that was pushing all kinds of buttons.
It was rainforest-y hot. My body was sore and my mind was agitated.
After doing yoga all day long day after day for weeks, on that particular afternoon I wanted to be napping at the beach, not suffering through this weird, spine-bruising, allegedly meditative "exploration."
He knew exactly what he was doing though, wise teacher that he is. He good-naturedly said, "And if you're hating every second of this, just notice that..."
I wasn't hearing it. My resistance was roaring full blaze that afternoon.
But then he said something that really did change my mood — and my life:
"When you notice yourself struggling with resistance or agitation, press pause and say, 'Hmm, isn't that interesting.'"
That did make me stop and think Hm, interesting. I wondered, could it actually really be that simple?
That all we need to do to disarm our defenses and disengage from our suffering is to step back and get curious?
This was a revolutionary idea to me at the time.
At that point in my life I followed my anxious thoughts unquestioningly wherever they led — usually to a drained, stuck, and lifeless place, beating myself up at every turn.
After that day, I started playing with saying "Hmm, isn't that interesting" any time I was getting worked up about something. And over the years I realized just how true it is.
That when we really boil it down, mostly all we need to do to get unstuck from a sticky moment - aka a sticky thought - is to:
Pause.
Step back.
Take an objective look at what's actually happening (not in your mind, but in reality).
And get curious about what's under the microscope, with no clinging to or pushing away whatever you discover.
The crazy thing is, at the most fundamental level, it actually is that simple.
Once we stop taking every emotion, thought, and experience in our lives personally, life becomes like a game — a lot more fun and with a lot less pain.
You don't need to make it more complicated than it is.
You're allowed to let it be easy.
Those triggered moments — the ones where you fly into an irrational rage over someone asking you a question that on paper seems like nothing or over your kids not putting their clothes away again — aren't "who you are," and they don't have to become your story.
They're just information.
Information about what you care about and about where your inner work lies. Information about where your blind spots (which we all have) are.
And the option is available to simply notice those moments, pick up the useful information, and move forward, putting it to useful conscious use. No drama required.
And with all that judgment and drama no longer clouding things up, suddenly your life will start to feel freer and clearer than you'd ever imagined it could.
Hmm, isn't that interesting...
Try these words on for yourself, and I'd love to hear what you notice.
Lots of Love,
Melissa
PS - If you enjoyed this post, thank you for passing it along to someone who might get a boost from it.